I'm Not Sorry
by xoxmerrychristmas
Summary: "I'm sorry for breaking your heart, but I'm not sorry for having her,"-Natsume Hyuuga "Should've Said No" in Natsume's perspective. Also read Should've said no.


This is the story "Should've Said No" in Natsume's perspective. Enjoy!

Disclaimer- I don't own Gakuen Alice!

I got the title from Taylor Swift's "You're not sorry."

* * *

I'm Natsume Hyuuga. I've never shared much of my life, but here's my life story on my school days.

* * *

In fifth grade, we had a new student. When I heard it was a girl, i thought it was another fangirl.

However, I turned out to be wrong. It turned out to be a girl with innocent eyes and the biggest eyes.

She was the first one to ever walk up to me without be afraid.

"Good morning! Nice to meet you! I'm Mikan Sakura!" she said to me and Ruka.

I saw Ruka go red while I covered my face with my manga to hide my blush. No way I could let my reputation go down with a girl.

Plus, I guess Ruka deserves her more than I do.

I don't want to drag her in the darkness she doesn't need to see.

* * *

In sixth grade, I was going on a mission. I got bruises and cuts. I was a mess by the time I got to the academy.

I walked to the sakura tree me and Mikan shared. We should be enemies but we still share a tree.

When I got there, I collapsed from a fever.

Before I closed my eyes, I saw a girl running towards the tree.

"Natsume!" I heard the girl scream.

Mikan… What's she doing here?

That was my last thought before I went unconscious.

* * *

When I woke up, I was in my room with Mikan. She was staring at me with teary eyes.

"Na...Natsume…" she stuttered.

Don't look so sad for me…

"What's up Polka?" I said keeping up my pride.

"Pervert!" she screamed so loud that everyone in the world could hear.

A least she was back to her usual self.

I gave her a small smile secretly.

Unfortunately she noticed it.

"Natsume! You smiled!" she said giving one of the bright smiles of her own.

At least she cares for me.

* * *

In seventh grade, it was the Alice festival. As usual, I just sat there behind a bush trying to avoid fan girls.

Maybe also because I was jealous of Ruka being able to dance with Mikan. Yes, I said I would give her to Ruka even if I was mostly out of the darkness. That was all because of her though.

"Hi Natsume!" I heard someone say.

I lifted my head to see the one and only Mikan.

How did she find me?

"Why are you hear Polka?" I asked.

"I was looking for you. By the way, can't you call me by my real name?" she said looking pissed.

What a sight to see.

However, I was distracted by her saying she was looking for me.

Why would she do that?

"Mikan…" I couldn't help but say.

She blushed, which was pretty cute.

We stayed there for the rest of the night chatting away.

* * *

In eighth grade, Mikan was still a horrible cook.

It was valentines day and I was running to my room.

I definitely didn't want chocolate from anyone. Especially not Mikan. I had some of her chocolate and felt sick. I even threw away Ruka's to save him.

Well, on my way to my room, the group of fan girls found me and I had to go hide.

"Natsume sama!" they all said as they lost sight of me.

Then, I bumped into someone. Turns out to be Mikan.

"Hey Polka, you're clumsy even on a day with no class?" I asked with a smirk.

I could tell I pissed her off.

I didn't mean to.

"Here's your chocolate by the way!" she said back to her happy self in no time.

I looked at the chocolate she held out to me. I guess my face wanted to turn green.

"Is my cooking really that bad?" she asked.

"Yes it is," I said bluntly.

Noticing her sad face, I added "I'll teach you if you want."

She lit up.

"Thanks Natsume!" she said as she ran off.

She's changing me so much.

* * *

In ninth grade, I heard Ruka asked Mikan out and she said yes. I should be happy, but I wasn't.

"Natsume! You promised to teach me how to make chocolate! Its been more than a year!" I heard Mikan bicker at me.

"Ask your boyfriend," I told her harshly.

I heard her sniffle with tears in her eyes.

"O..Okay… Bye Natsume…" she said turning away.

She looks so helpless…

"Fine. I'll teach you now," I couldn't help changing my mind.

Immediately, she turned around and hugged me like I was her favorite person.

"Thanks Natsume! You're my best friend ever!" she yelled.

"I thought Imai was your best friend?" I reminded her.

"My second best friend!" she said hugging me again, snuggling her head in my chest.

She's warm…

* * *

In tenth grade, I walked in the snow of central town. It was White day and I was alone. Mikan was with Ruka I think. A least they were together.

I walked into a bar even though I wasn't old enough. However, in the world of Alice's, you're never too young to do anything.

I sat down and ordered a beer.

"I want a beer too," I heard a familiar voice say.

I turned to see Mikan.

Wasn't she with Ruka?

"What are you doing here Polka?" I ask.

"Thinking about life," she told me.

She sounds drunk…

"Why?"

"It's complicated… I… I don't like Ruka…" she said.

She is drunk…

"Why don't you like him?" I asked while finishing my beer and asking for another one.

I'm getting drowsy…

"I like you… I like you Natsume…" she muttered.

That was enough for me to crash my lips on hers, stealing her first kiss. I guess thats why she never let Ruka kiss her.

Before I knew it, I dragged her to my room and made love to her.

* * *

I woke up to see a naked Mikan with her head on top of mine. I couldn't help but pull her closer to me after seeing her innocent face.

She opened her eyes and said "Morning Natsume!"

She's not mad…

"What are we going to do now?" I asked her.

"I don't know, but I love you. Not Ruka…" she whispered.

"I guess we have keep this a secret," I told her.

"But that would be cheating!" she protested.

"We don't want to break his heart do we?" I reminded her.

She agreed and we stayed in our current position for the rest of the day.

Maybe with a few kisses and… You get the picture.

* * *

In eleventh grade, Mikan and I were still meeting together secretly. Right now, I was waiting for Mikan in my room for her to finish that date with Ruka.

The door creaked opened…

Mikan came in and crawled into my bed.

"Merry Christmas!" she said giving me her alice stone.

I gave her mine and kissed her hard.

Like always, it turned passionate.

"I love you Natsume…" Mikan said dozing off after our love making session.

"I love you too" I said dozing off myself.

I love you my angel…

* * *

In twelfth grade, I was still with Mikan. I guess I was going rougher than usual tonight because she was moaning so loudly.

She sounds like a sexy angel…

I couldn't help but go faster as…

I heard the door burst open with a gasp.

We couldn't help but look and saw that…

Ruka was at the door.

"Ru…Ruka…" Me and Mikan whispered together, breathless from what we were doing.

"Sorry for intruding. You may continue," Ruka said tears threatening out his eyes as he walked away slamming the door.

Mikan and I continued what we were doing.

We can think later…

* * *

On graduation day, I watched Mikan go up to Ruka and get rejected as a friend.

Later, as I passed by Ruka, I told him something.

"I'm sorry for breaking your heart, but I'm not sorry for having her," I said.

I grabbed Mikan's hand and walked away.

* * *

Now, as I walk passed the gates, there is one thing on my mind.

Now, we can all start our new life outside these gates.

As I thought this, I swear I felt the wind pass by.

* * *

Hope you liked this story! Review and tell me what you think!

Happy New Years!

-xoxmerrychristmas


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